Annina’s TSW Journey: From Thailand CAP Treatment to Healing in Bali
“TSW is a chapter I survived, not the story I live by.”
I didn’t heal alone. Love, support, and patience carried me through the days I couldn’t carry myself.
I was already three years into TSW before I discovered CAP. During those years, I fought through a full-face infection by myself while still showing up to work every day. I kept telling myself I could handle it, until suddenly I couldn’t anymore.
My partner and I had planned an eight-month trip through South America. I kept lying to myself that my skin would somehow be okay by then.”
But three weeks before our flight to Lima, everything fell apart. I remember walking home from work, exhausted and terrified, praying, “Please, if anyone is up there, have mercy. Either let me wake up healed tomorrow, or don’t let me wake up at all.” That moment broke me and also saved me. I knew I needed help, so I booked a flight to Thailand and started CAP.
“I had always used my hair to hide my face, the redness, the wrinkles, the flaking.”
I spent the first two months of treatment’ alone before my partner could join me. He has always been my anchor, my biggest supporter, the person I could lean on even when I had nothing left.
I have mixed feelings about my memories in Thailand. I loved Jay and the CAP Clinic TSW Solution Thailand team, and CAP genuinely helped my healing. But due to a fungal infection, I shaved my hair, which was extremely hard for me. I had always used my hair to hide my face, the redness, the wrinkles, the flaking. Losing that little shield made me feel exposed and unattractive.
On top of that, I had to change accommodations five times, and no matter what I tried, my skin stayed a bit inflamed. After eight months in Thailand, I flew to Bali alone, hoping Wave Skin Wellness would open earlier. My partner had to return home for work, so I exposed my self to sea and sun until I eventually went back to Switzerland.
Back home, my skin didn’t regress, but it also didn’t improve much. Then our apartment had a huge water leak and needed major renovations. Everything became chaotic, and something inside me knew I needed to return to Bali for sea, sun and CAP treatment.
“I’ve built friendships here that I will miss deeply when I return to Switzerland.”
At first, it felt like failure. It felt like my skin was betraying me again. I had finally started rebuilding my life in Switzerland, and suddenly I was packing my bags again. But in the end, it was the best decision I could have made.
After only a few days in Bali, my skin started healing again and became stronger than ever.
And Bali has my heart now. I’ve built friendships here that I will miss deeply when I return to Switzerland.
“Wave Skin Wellness has been more than a clinic for me.”
Wave Skin Wellness has been more than a clinic for me. They didn’t just support my skin, they supported me emotionally on the days I felt hopeless. They made me feel safe and understood. I will be forever grateful for them, for Bali, and for the second chance at healing I found here.
Living through the emotional side of TSW besides the physical pain, the endless itch and the sleepless nights, there is a whole mental world that comes with TSW. It changed the way I saw myself. It made me feel useless, guilty and completely disconnected from the person I used to be. The job I loved was taken away from me. I couldn’t do sports anymore. Even physical touch became impossible.
“I felt like a prisoner inside my own body while everyone else was living.”
Meanwhile, life around me kept moving forward. My friends were getting married, having children, growing in their careers, and traveling to places I had always dreamed of visiting. I felt like a prisoner inside my own body while everyone else was living. And on top of that, the guilt grew bigger. I felt guilty for holding my partner back, for being a burden, for needing so much help, and for no longer being independent.
There was a time when I genuinely did not understand why people still loved me. I couldn’t find love for myself. I didn’t even know who I was anymore, because all I could feel was pain.
But my partner never left my side. He never made me feel unwanted or too much. He cheered me up, he accepted every part of me, and he never once showed disgust. He had this stubborn belief that we would get through this. I still do not know who I would be today without him, my family and my friends. And on the days when even love couldn’t reach me, music became the place where I could breathe again.
Waves of Sound
Annina has curated a 21-song playlist that supported her through some of the most difficult moments of Topical Steroid Withdrawal. These are the songs she returned to during sleepless nights, days filled with pain and inflammation, and the heavy moments when she needed something to help her breathe, process and keep going.
She’s sharing this playlist to remind you that healing also has its own rhythm. Music became one of the places where she could find calm when her mind and body were overwhelmed. If you are in a challenging phase of TSW, we hope her playlist offers the same sense of comfort, grounding and emotional release that carried her through her darkest chapters.
Annina listened to “Sauvignon Blanc” by Savvy throughout her TSW journey. Savvy wrote this song for his chronically ill wife, and its message of devotion, patience and longing mirrored everything Annina felt during her hardest moments. The song became a quiet anchor on the days when her skin was at its worst, reminding her of her partner’s unwavering love and the light he gave her when she felt lost in the darkness of TSW.
“Journaling became a huge part of my healing”
Now that I can live a much more normal life again, the grief and guilt are slowly fading. They still show up on some days, and that is okay. They do not control me anymore. I know I am still holding a lot of trauma, but I am working through it. I was strong enough to survive it. I am strong enough to heal from it. You made it through the trauma you will make it through the healing.
And besides the people who stood by me, journaling became a huge part of my healing. It helped me process my feelings and slowly feeling myself again.
From guilt to growth
If you’ve carried the same guilt, grief or loneliness, this space is for you. Join our community, tell your story, or message us to explore whether CAP can help.
If you’d like to know more or need personal advice for your skin, please get in touch. Our team in Bali is always here to support you.
